Dealing with mixed emotions being a parent – few tips for best approach

Bildergebnis für managing the emotions as parents

In this fast changing world, parenting seems subject to changing styles and it somehow became a competitive sport. Parents get keep on tracking their kids for better manners, habits, and behaviors, forgetting the single most important skill for “positive” parenting over the course of our kids’ lifetimes is our own self-awareness and self-regulation as parents.

Parenting is an intensely emotional experience which comes with two extreme feelings. One is the pure pleasure of cuddling, playing, laughing, exploring, and deep sense of connection and love and on the other hand the emotions are mixed with feelings of frustration – things like losing their odd life, financial independence, career, spontaneity, time with their partner and friends and  feeling trapped by the huge change that has completely taken over their life and sense of self. These mixed emotions will make a parent (especially mom)  to think that their identity as an individual has been replaced by that of ‘parent’.

So, it’s highly important to manage our feelings as a parent, because these mixed emotion will deeply affect the child’s mental health in future. Here are few tips which I learnt through my experience and would like to share with you:

Controlling our emotions. This is the foremost thing every parent should follow. We all have a bad day but when it comes to kids they are not like adults to sense your stress and keep calm. Kids needs their parents attention so, instead of showing your stress to them, giving them that 5 minute attention, keeping everything aside will make a huge difference in the kids attitude. After giving them the 5 minute attention you can slowly tell you need a little time to rest. It will definitely work. Give it a try!!!

One day my daughter and me were returning home from the kindergarten by bus, she always wants to sit in the particular seat before her friend do, but it doesn’t happen that day and she threw a big fit, while her adorable friend gave her the seat and stood in the bus for the whole ride.  Tuning in my feelings into anger or disappointment, I just took few deep breaths to clear my mind (I am not perfect still!!!! ) and calmly said it’s not always possible to sit in the same seat and its ok to be disappointed. She understood and gave the seat to her friend by herself the next day.  Key is to think the best way to respond. Where remaining calm is a hard work (still I am learning :)) and it will definitely pay off in future.

Bildergebnis für managing the emotions as parents

Little distraction will do.  When your child doesn’t listen to you and asks for five more minutes of cartoon time, game time or playing time and hates you for not giving their extra time then instead of being mad and yelling at them just try to distract them, by giving your kid a big hug, by doing this you are letting them know that you hear their frustration and empathize with it. If this doesn’t work just distract them with a silly funny dance which can turn the tides. It not only relieves the kids frustration but also your stress.

Bildergebnis für managing the emotions as parents

Bildergebnis für dance with your kids

Run out of the situation for a minute. When your child cannot calm down and having hard time just take a time out instead of being in that moment and reacting. This way you can prevent yourself from the negative emotion ruling you. Giving a time out for yourself, will make you and your kids mental status to calm down. “You have to be in control of yourselves if you want them to be in control of themselves.” As the quote says it’s a great tool to control negative emotions and help in channeling your emotions in a right way.

wp-1506417234163.

 

Advertisements

Misconceptions which shocked me about India

It’s been a while since I wrote something in my blog. Recently I finished my B2 level in German language. My 10 months course not only taught language but also got the opportunity to mingle with people from different countries. After getting closer to people from other land, something which surprised me is the misconception what they have about my homeland India. Some made my eyebrows raise and few made me laugh. I realized, India, being a multiculturalmultiethnic and multireligious society, there is no big wonder that people have so much misconceptions. Here, I like to write about some questions which I came across being an Indian in Germany.

Bildergebnis für misconceptions about india

Do you speak “Indian”?

No, of course we don’t speak “Indian,” because Indian is not a language. People have no idea, how many languages and dialects exist in our country and are spoken by everyone. There are about 122 native languages exists in India. So, whenever I come across the question “Sprichst du Indisch?” (do you speak Indian?), my answer will not be yes or no, rather a big lecture of Indian languages.

As shown in Bollywood films, do you guys dance in streets?

I remembered, when my good friend asked this to me “Tanzen Sie alle, wie in Bollywood-Filmen gezeigt, auf der Straße?”, I couldn’t control my laughter. Yes we love to see movies but none of us go around dancing in streets and singing in the rain. We live so normally, much like the other people in the world.

Bildergebnis für bollywood movie dance in street

Have you seen snakes in streets?

It was a weird question which I came across from one of my Greek friend. She literally thought India is underdeveloped and we see wild animals in daily basis. I asked “where you have seen snakes” She replied “In Zoo or Snack parks”, I said “Dear even I have seen it only in zoo and snake parks like you”.  Snakes are not commonly found in streets or in public places except in zoos.

Why Indian food is so spicy?

Not in every part of the country we serve spicy food. If you go to northern part, for example, we have Dal varieties (curried yellow lentils), can be mild. In down south we have delicacies like idli, vada, and the most loving dish curd-rice. We have foods that suit for all kind of taste buds.

Bildergebnis für dal

Dal (yellow lentil curry)

Bildergebnis für curd rice

Curd rice

You speak different language other than your national language?

As I said earlier there are about 122 native languages and 23 official languages in India. 60% of Indians have mother tongues other than Hindi. So, its normal for an Indian to speak in his state’s language and not in national language.

Ähnliches Foto

Why can’t you eat beef but eat chicken?

There are people in India who eat beef, It’s something what Hindu religion says and its our choice to eat or avoid. So, people who follow and believe in Hindu religion doesn’t consume the cow. There are many religion other than Hindu, hence many consume beef in India.

Can you teach Yoga?

I always have a weird smile at this question and say no. Because I always felt ashamed that more than Indians, the western world is taking Yoga more seriously (as far as i know). It’s a fact that lot of us don’t do Yoga.

Do all Indian people sleep in streets?

One of my German friend visited India and she saw a large amount of people sleeping in streets and parks and thought its a normal practice for Indians to sleep in streets. But, no not every Indian sleeps in streets. They are bunch of homeless people like the same in other western countries. The only difference is the number of people, which is obviously higher, considering the Indian population.

Does India have a hot weather all 365 days?

Nope! Even our countries weather changes from region to region.  India does get very hot summers, equally cold winters and a moderate tropical weather. Looking at the size of the country it is not possible to have only one kind of weather throughout the year. We have six ecological seasons.

Bildergebnis für misconceptions about india

//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({
google_ad_client: “ca-pub-6244618799601033”,
enable_page_level_ads: true
});