Parenting in the same page is not an easy task for current generation parents as we all grew up with speaking our opinions out loud. But, when we see our parents back then, they are somewhat be in the same page when it comes to parenting us. At least my mum’s decision will be always correlate with dad’s decision without even they discussing with each other. Me in the other hand has to always discuss everything with my husband (generation change you know).
Parenting in united front is always a most discussed topic with no clear answers. There are a lot of questions around this topic like:
- Is it healthy for kids when parents are in same page without expressing their opinion?
- Will it make my kid grow opinion less?
- Parents being in different page will bring any development issues?
- Is is okay when one parent is involved in a kid? and the questions goes on.
In my experience the smaller the child, the higher the unity of parents is important. It doesn’t mean parents should not have any dissimilarities, obviously every human have their own point of view. What I mean is healthy debates are always good which should be conducted calmly and respectfully in front of a kid. I would like to share my way of united parenting which helps my daughter in certain way. For some it might work and for some it may not. If you want to take it and give it a try then here you go:
Keep your child’s age in mind: As I said earlier, it depends on your child’s age. It is more important for parents to be in same age when your kid is in their early years i.e., below 6 years. This is because in this age they don’t really know to distinguish the world in black-and-white terms. This will gradually disappears between the ages of six and 12. See to it that, it will make your child’s life lot easier if you work out your disagreements and keep them private.
Never pull your spouse down: Even for fun don’t use certain words like mommy is wrong or daddy is wrong to little kids. It will make them thing may be mommy is always right or daddy is always right. This will always give mixed messages to kids and not knowing what his/her parents expect can make things harder.
Find a common ground: When you and your spouse really have disagreements then find a chance to discuss the issue and try hard to find common ground and understand each other’s perspective on the issue. And keep in mind to talk it through outside zone of your child considering whatever age the child be.
Stop your ego and concentrate on your kid: When you both come to an agreement always keep in mind the starting place of your discussion (which is your child), which will help you and your partner stay on-message. Remember that your discussion is not about who wins the argument.
Involve your partner even in their absence: When your child asks for something and you are in the position to take your own decision or you both took the decision and only one parent has to speak about, then convey that “both dad and me think that it’s really important for you to do this or buy this.” But it doesn’t apply to older kids and also not with big decisions.
Be consistent: When you have an argument and whether it’s an agreement or disagreement, be consistent in it. Don’t change your decision after two days it will create confusion in your child. At times one cannot come to an agreement and even when you disagree, support your spouse’s decision.
I hope these little tips helps your parenting and brings positivity in parenting. It’s not easy to be a pro in parenting. Parenting comes always through practice and it’s not always same. I always take advises and tips from different ends and end up with my own parenting, and I think it’s a best and effective way for parenting. According to me good parenting should always come from both ends and the involvement of both father and mother plays a key role.